MARTIAN MANHUNTER: My Motion Picture (2000)

Back when I had the "Rock of the JLA" site, I did a fan casting of higher-profile friends, enemies, and associates for a theoretical movie. In those days, I was stuck on WebTV, meaning almost all the pictures on the site were low-res found images off other sites. I wanted to preserve that project as it stood, so mistakes and lapses in quality are all intact. I think it holds up pretty well, though many of the actors are now too old, and Jennifer Jason Leigh wasn't in "Fried Green Tomatos. If we had IMDB back then, I didn't know it. Resized for space, part one of two, rolling...

MARTIAN MANHUNTER
The Motion Picture
WARNER BROTHERS does not Present
"MARTIAN MANHUNTER" AVERY BROOKS CLANCY BROWN with CHARLES FLEISHER as the voice of 'L-Ron' Music Composed by JEAN-MICHEL JARRE Character Animation and Visual Effects by INDUSTRIAL LIGHT & MAGIC Executive Produced by NOBODY & This is a joke Produced by JOEL SILVER Written by J.M. DeMATTEIS and KEITH GIFFEN and MARK WAID and GRANT MORRISON THIS IS NOT A REAL MOVIE. I'M JUST PLAYING DON'T SUE ME Directed by JOE DANTE

Let's just be up front about this...There will never, ever be a Martian Manhunter movie. Even if one were ever produced, it would undoubtedly suck. If abominations like "Batman & Robin", "Superman 4:The Quest for Peace", and "Captain America" could happen, what chance has MM got?

On the other hand, most of these actors could potentially provide their voices to an animated show. Unlikly as that may be, I can tell you from experience that hearing Avery Brooks' voice while reading J'Onn in JLA just enrices a person's reading experience. Give it a shot...

Avery Brooks as The Manhunter from Mars
J'Onn shouldn't just be a tall guy with a deep voice. The actor has to be able to emote, even when he isn't speaking. When he does speak, the words should have weight, but he shouldn't come off as cold. I've always imagined a little cracking in J'Onn's voice, especially during his many heartfelt speeches. Brooks captures all of these things, plus he's fairly tall, to boot!

FILMS:
American History X
The Big Hit

TELEVISION:
Spencer for Hire (Hawk)
Star Trek:Deep Space Nine (Capt.Ben Sisko)


Clancy Brown as Despero
Anyone who saw the only good "Highlander" movie knows Clancy Brown can play a balls-to-the-walls destructive madman. If you caught "Stephen King's Pet Sematary", you know he can pull off the creepy serial killer part. What you may not know is that the same guy also provides the golden throat for Lex Luthor on the WB's Superman cartoon. He'll need a little bit of all three to play a sadist like Despero.

OTHER FILMS:
Blue Steel


Alyssa Milano as Gypsy
She's perky! She's tough in a cute way! She's Tony's daughter! How could they not be the boss of Judith Light? Who am I trying to kid? I'm not a huge fan of Gypsy to begin with, and all the actresses that came to mind are too old for the role. I do like Ms.Milano, and it's not like it's a demanding part. Bonus-She'll make anyone who plays MM look even taller!

MOVIES:
Embrace of the Vampire
Poison Ivy 2

TELEVISION:
Charmed
Melrose Place
Who's the Boss

Jennifer Jason Leigh as Cameron Chase
For this role, you need someone who's attractive without looking "Hollywood". She has to appear immediatly formitable, and noticably intelligent. In roles from Dorothy Parker to the "Single White Female" psycho, Leigh has proven that she's right for DEO Agent Chase. I think she can hold her own against a seven foot Martian, and still make it all believable.

OTHER FILMS;
Dorothy Parker and the Viscious Circle
Fried Green Tomatos
Rush

Don Cheadle as DEO Director Bones
Right off the bat, for those who don't know, Mister Bones was African-American. Second, Bones is a reformed who, who still believes he's doing the right thing by safeguarding the United States from the metahuman community.

Now, you've got to get the sense that this is a good man doing bad things, and you've got to get it across through nothing but a computer generated talking skeleton...and voice acting. Bones doesn't have one of those James Earl Jones reverb voices, so he's got to sound normal, yet sympathetic and devoted, even borderline fanatical and conniving. It would take a stunning talent to pull all that off, and his name is Don Cheadle. He's one hell of an actor, with roles ranging from an impassioned small town prosecutor to a drug-dealing hood caught up in a political race. He's even got the right build for the role, should the latex route be taken.

FILMS:
Boogie Nights
Bullworth
Devil in a Blue Dress
Hamburger Hill
Rosewood
Volcano

TELEVISION:
Picket Fences


James Van Der Beek as Triumph
Have you ever read one of Wizard Magazine's comic book Casting Calls? I know I gag at some of their God-awful choices to play heroes that people actual care about. They just love picturing wrestlers, Baywatch babes, and soap stars as their favorite heroes. I usually don't, but visions of teen idols dance in my head when I think about Triumph. No one on Earth liked this egotistical pretty boy, who always whined about how he should have been one of the greats of the DCU. So, you need someone young and blond with that forced pseudo-depth required to deliver lines like, "I love Monica, but I can't betray Susan to my passion." Or maybe, "That's yer dream Daddy, not mahne!" Here's your guy!

FILMS:
Varsity Blues

TELEVISION:
Dawson's Creek

Billy Drago as Malefic
Drago is one of those character actors you've probably seen in a dozen movies. You might know the face, but can't quite place it. That is unless you were one of the dozens of people who followed Fox's sci-fi western"The Adventures of Brisco County Jr", where he played the murderous John Bly. He's also made his fair share of B-movies, with the likes of Chuck Norris, Cynthia Rothrock, and others. Questionable pedigree aside, you can't find a better actor to play a slithery, sleazy, devious type like Malefic.

Armand Assante as Vandal Savage Okay, we want a guy who's vaguely foreign, middle-aged, and calmly evil as all hell. Assante can fill all three roles, plus he has experience in period pieces and genre roles. Who could ask for anything more?

FILM:
Judge Dredd
The Mambo Kings
Scandel

TELEVISION:
The Odyssey

Alec Baldwin in a cameo as Batman
Don't give me that Michael Keaton jive. Just because Kilmer and Clooney stank, everyone's gotten nostalgic for the robotic Batman of '89. Well, Alec has the dapper playboy down, but he's also done a great job at playing grim, obsessive types. Check out his sinister side in "Mercury Rising".

Billy Campbell in a cameo as Superman
Square-jawed, and mild-mannered, he's got the right look, voice, and attitude to make people forget Christopher Reeve. That's one tall order. but Bill can fill those shoes. Besides, he's got experience pretending to fly while suspended from wires. How many guys have that on their resumé?

FILMS:
The Rocketeer

TELEVISION:
Once & Again

Madeline Stowe in a cameo as Wonder Woman
Besides the great body and chisled features, Stowe can pull off the warrior side of Diana. She often plays strong and determined women, and I'd love for her to portray the amazing amazon. People keep telling me she's too old to play the part. You're looking at the picture...Does it say "too old" to you?

FILMS:
Revenge
The General's Daughter
The Two Jakes

Sam Neill as Maxwell Lord
He's got to be smooth and sophisticated, light-hearted yet slightly nefarious. Sam Neill has certainly proven his range over his twenty years in film. I'm also positive Adam Hughes used Neill as his model for Max when he drew Justice League America in the late 80's!

FILMS:
Dead Calm
Event Horizon
The Final Conflict: The Omen III
The Hunt for Red October Jurassic Park