The Weird #4 (July, 1988)

The Weird was aroused by Batman, who was looking for a way to stop Superman; who was laughing off being double-teamed by Martian Manhunter and Doctor Fate; and Nuklon; who was taking on everyone else (including Guy Gardner, whose head will apparently be wrapped in gauze for 75% of this mini-series.) As one would expect in a Starlin book, The Weird recaps the prior issues of the mini-series, which offers the Dark Knight no clues as to how to defeat the Macrolatts that have possessed his super friend, and also Nuklon. So that's 7 pages of 38 down. The duo of possessed metahumans defeated the rest of the present heroes and lay waste to just enough of Metropolis to look like something out of Akira, but somehow not enough to rate any future mention or leave any trace that won't be cleaned up by the next Superman comic. Also, The Weird had a big speech about how the only way to save this reality was to prevent the Macrolatts from ever reaching it, so The Weird won't waste the remainder of his existence (measurable in hours) on a futile gesture. The Caped Crusader chided, "You may look like a man, Weird. But you've got a lot to learn about actually being one."

Page 16. The Weird kneels before the Macrolatts, speaking to the error of his ways and promising to tell his masters of potential threats to them in this realm. If there were any actual threats, they weren't shared with Batman, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he played indignant before being slapped down by the Weird to help sell the lie. The Macrolatts are so arrogant as to be offended by the idea that anything could threaten them, and smack the Weird around before he fully surrenders, ostensibly to allow them to drain him of all his knowledge and power, ending on a twelve panel page of the possessed heroes slowly reaching toward Weird. Pages 22-24: The Weird reaches into Superman and Nuklon's chests with his variable density powers, pulls out a Macrolatt in each hand, and destroys them both. Well... that was a swift and convenient reversal of the story as told.

Oh, there's still 16 pages to fill? Super studies show that nothing can be done to save The Weird. He spends three pages building a small island as a monument to himself. Superman flies Billy Langley to the island across one page, and it's revealed in the opposing splash. Kind of looks like a sailing ship. Walter Langley's son is somehow meant to make it to this small personal island to play on a mostly barren rock whenever he feels lonely. The proposed logistics of that are the weirdest thing in The Weird. They hug, and then Martian Manhunter is stuck with the thankless task of flying this sobbing child back home to the mother that refused to visit, but was totally cool with allowing her son to fly off with Superman to parts unknown. I do wonder if there was some symbolism in the roles, but most probably J'Onn just got the **** detail, so Superman and Guy Gardner could fly off to unpopulated space to watch The Weird explode. I'd like to say Guy was the only Green Lantern dumb enough to risk it, but they're all so "confident" in their power rings, aren't they? The Weird does blow up a significant distance away, so I guess that explains why an energy bubble wouldn't have contained it. Superman, the Kevin Smith of super-heroes, sheds a tear at his passing. Even Guy looks a bit choked up, or maybe it's like how someone puking makes you want to puke, and Guy is just worried for his tear ducts. The final page is a somber distance shot of the island at sunset.

"...Armageddon" was by Jim Starlin, Berni Wrightson, & Dan Green. Well... that sucked. I liked Batman: The Cult when I got it a few years later, and almost ordered the new edition that's coming out, but I didn't like the production work on display. I mention that because I'm a lifelong Starlin fan, and I'm glad that he produced a script worthy of collaborating with Wrightson at some point, but this wasn't it. All the stuff with the father and son was unearned, because instead of developing that relationship to have any independent weight, they Zarolatted and punch-faced us. I can't remember if they bothered to name the wife/mother, but obviously the story didn't care any more about her than we did once it was done. This feels more like an outline than a complete narrative, and at least twice as many pages of art were produced than were needed to tell this basic of a story. Frankly, it was too obvious and unadorned to even earn its given name. The Lame would have been more honest. At least I got to see Wrightson draw the Alien Atlas, I guess?