Friday, October 26, 2007

Justice League of America #238 (5/85)

Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash: Beaten by wraiths conjured from a souped-up Casio synthesizer slung like a guitar. Held captive by stock evil Commie, only to be rescued by Justice League Detroit. Rumor has it Barry died not during the Crisis, but from the embarrassment.

Vixen: Provided early example of meta-commentary by directly addressing Detroit League hatas.

Steel: Enabled Vixen.

Zatanna: Hated on Vixen, possibly because she broke the 4th wall, or perhaps because she came off as kind of a tramp back then. Used magic to control a thunderstorm and down Soviet Migs.

Vibe: Rightly impressed that Zatanna finally used her powers right. Vibrated a rogue Soviet trooper. Fried by a "key-tar."

Aquaman: Probably forced Vixen to make lame speech with his telepathy or something. Trash talked Gypsy. Made no mention of the concept of "morale."

Elongated Man: Stretched by Steel like a rubber band in an elastic double-team with Martian Manhunter.

Martian Manhunter: As Zatanna observed, "J'Onn J'Onzz, we're the only two in the group who can fly, so..."
"Your point is well taken, Zatanna. Shall we see how backward-spell magic and Martian adaptive power fare against military hardware?" While invisible and not, J'Onn tore apart a Mig with his bare hands, and was mistaken for a demon. "Strange, the effect I seem to have on people. I'm not that frightening in appearance, am I, Zatanna?" Before she could reply, Vixen asserted, "Hey-- not in my book, Big Green. Matter of fact, I like my men tall and lean." J'Onn and Zee also fought a fire-breathing pterodactyl wraith.

Gypsy: Projected her illusion powers directly into the evil Commie's mind, sending him into shock as he imagined himself falling from a great height.

Dale Gunn: Still flying that personnel transport.

The Creators: Have to date faced the Detroit League with such impressive foes as street gangs, embassy security agents, a baseball-themed villain, weak poseur heralds of a lame Galactus wanna-be, Soviet military forces, and a dude with a keytar. Indulge in meta-commentary because, for some reason, fans think the new team stinks.

J’Onn J’Onzz’s Nicknames of the Issue: "Big Green" - Vixen
J'Onn J'Onzz wants to know why everyone calls J'Onn J'Onzz "J'Onn J'Onzz." J'Onn J'Onzz doesn't stand for ceremony. J'Onn J'Onzz just likes the spicy chicken.

Most Embarrassing Vibe Quote of the Issue: "Hey, relax, amigo."

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