Friday, March 9, 2012

March Madness: Iron Division: Round One

The cosmic buttinsky known as The Interferer has broken out of the back issue of The Omega Men that he had been trapped in for decades, thanks to the Flash's mommy issues or something. Shortly before the Post-Crisis DC Universe collapsed into Flashpoint, the Interferer read the Salvation Run trade paperback, and thought it was too cool. The Interferer tried to find Salvation, but failing that, landed in a back issue of Showcase with a joint similar enough to have some fun. Figuring nobody would miss them, the Interferer took all of the Martian Manhunter's rogues gallery to a battle planet inspired by Manhunter 2070. It would have been rad to kill J'Onn J'Onzz again, but he ended up in The Outsider, so we'll have to make do...

Iron City was a ghost metropolis of abandoned alien structures. Mister V had the advantage of exploration, working his way deep into its bowels. His agents had set up surveillance equipment and would defend the crimelord from the scientists and madmen crawling the streets...

Professor Arnold Hugo was certainly among the most brilliant minds here, and he had arrived with a cache of 1,000 menacing gadgets to support his campaign of cognitive conquest. However, there was more under the cobalt moons than was known to science, as Bette Noir began wrapping herself around Hugo's over-sized mind...

King Zeus wasn't used to working without minions, but he possessed the tools and determination to make this city a new domain for his collection. However, having worked his way up a twisted xenomorph skyscraper, he had found the immortal Vandal Savage lying in wait. He was a mere caveman, so what concern was he to a god...?

The Osprey would normally soar above even these grand fellows, but he was enough of a plotter to recognize the underground tunnels was where the real action could be found. That set the armored avian on a collision course with Mr.V's international criminal organization Vulture, and all their wonderful toys...

Mr. Moth climbed over another mound of debris in the dumping ground, picking through it for tools he could use against his foes. He ought to be careful, because Doctor Trap had also been busily working through the waste. His inventive mind was locked into insuring a butterfly would never emerge from the shell left when he finished his work...

Alex Dunster didn't see the profit in death duals, and worked busily to ready his teleportation sphere to set out for greener pastures. The sphere was enough of a prize to inspire the deathless Professor Anthony Ivo to shed a bit more blood if necessary, and he was near to completing fruitful work of his own...

Lady luck always favored Professor Amos Fortune, at least if he had anything to say about it. He had brought along a probability adjustor for insurance, and he'd need it against medieval villain Baron Voto, whose magical ring had previously won him the European nation of Lavonia. The man lived in a castle, and doesn't the house always win?

The Falcon flew above the city, searching for a place to land or a foe to ambush. Porto had the same idea, and among "The Man of 1,000 Disguises'" costumes included a functional bird-man suit. As the Falcon's plane flew near, Porto leapt from his spire concealment bound for a blind spot...

Wiley Dalbert was seeking out basic resources from his underpass hidey-hole when he came upon unusual markings. His superior future education informed him that they were mystic sigils dating back 2,5000 years from the present (per current Earth time.) There was magic afoot here, and Dalbert had his hands full defending himself from Nemesus. Still, Wiley had earned his name against the likes of Batman, Martian Manhunter, Booster Gold and Goldstar, so may the better man win...

Professor Proxon directed the present students of his Crime College into reconstructing alien technology found in what appeared to be some sort of subway network. Screeching tires caught their attention, as an armored vehicle with a whirling drill mounted to the grill began barreling towards them. Monty Moran was on the scene with his getaway gang in tow, and the mastermind would pit more than wits against these rivals...

The Dreaded General may have been the self-appointed leader of a criminal army on Earth, but he was on his own in a deserted airfield. Behind his tank lurked a regional director of the Department of Extranormal Operations. He might ride a desk these days, but in another life, his transparent skin and cyanide touch led him to villainy as Mister Bones. The General would be the one to know dread, if Bones reached him before he reached a machine gun...

Captain Horatio Destiny hadn't signed up for an adventure without his crew of intergalactic mercenaries, but the swashbuckler intended to survive in their absence. A shame then that the criminal Conjurer had already been using his parlor tricks to misdirect the captain right where he wanted him...

Iron City Round One
Professor Arnold Hugo vs. Bette Noir
King Zeus vs. Vandal Savage
The Osprey vs. VULTURE
Mr. Moth vs. Doctor Trap
Alex Dunster vs. Professor Anthony Ivo
Professor Amos Fortune vs. Baron Voto
The Human Falcon vs. Porto
Nemesus vs. Wiley Dalbert
Professor Proxon vs. Monty Moran, the Getaway King
The Dreaded General vs. DEO Director Bones
The Conjurer vs. Captain Horatio Destiny


mathematicscore said...

Hugo is more of a heavyweight, but I feel like he'd lose his stuff at the sight of a sexy girl, so Bette gets my vote.

King Zeus gets eaten for lunch by Vandal.

The Osprey does well against the minions of Vulture, who strike me as little more than cannon fodder.

Mr Moth takes out Dr Trap by virtue of being the loonier of the two.

Ivo kills Dunster almost as an after thought as he co-opts his materials.

Amos and Voto almost accidentally tear reality apart, but thankfully Baron Voto gets a KO.

The Falcon pays his "silly supervillian" dues and as such gets the drop on Porto.

Dalbert bothers me, so I'm siding with Nemesus; I don't feel good about it.

The getaway King seems to have a bit more moxie than the good professor, so ultimately he gets the W.

Mister Bones takes out the General in fine form, barely breaking a sweat, let alone his aloof facade.

Destiny gets fooled by the conjurer, but unlike the Manhunter, doesn't put up with being made the fool and gets all Han Solo vs Greedo on him.

Diabolu Frank said...

I don't know if Hugo is even into girls. He's never had a storyline that went there in the least. I'm not sure that he could beat Bette without planning, but he could definitely go Batman on her ass.

King Zeus got way too close to beating Vandal Savage. Nuh-uh. No way.

Based on what little there is to know about the Osprey, and a wealth of information on Vulture, I'd go with the Osprey. Let's be honest, Vulture hasn't exactly come off as a highly skilled death squadron or anything.

I didn't give a rat's ass about Mr. Moth before the first March Madness, but his favorable response by voters earned my respect. He's got that dada thing going on.

Ivo does kill the hell out of Dunster. No flies on Alex, but Ivo is Justice League league, and frankly, I can't understand how his match with Hugo last year was so close.

I still cannot summon one single solitary care for Fortune or Voto.

Falcon isn't Moth, but he's more funky than Porto.

Dalbert is my poster child for bad MM villains. I'm thinking about playing Vile Menagerie Survivor and voting him off the island.

I kind of like Monty Moran. I don't even halfway like Professor Proxon.

The General sucks. Mr. Bones all the way.

I've grown to like Conjurer because he's alright but gets no credit around here. I haven't read "Rings of Saturn" since it came out, so I don't remember Destiny well enough to have a strong opinion of him.

Tom Hartley said...

When the time comes, Iron must battle Bronze, so that we can have Oh the Humanity Round Deux: Human Squirrel vs. Human Falcon.

Diabolu Frank said...

They've both got to survive round two, though...