On the down side, I completely forgot to do a Saturday post, and this was after I barely got Thursday's post in on time. I was working on something late Friday night until I felt the need to tap out, and then was out of the house all day with my closest hu-mans. On the plus side, I feel I've generated some pretty decent commentary to go with these dozens of card posts, to the point where you're maybe backlogged, and who's reading this blog over their weekend anyway? Can you believe I did this more or less daily for years? At this point, I sure can't. So yes, I'll just backdate this one (a term no one under 40 can comprehend today. We used to sign pieces of special paper from a little booklet promising that we had money in the bank to buy things. With a ballpoint pen. By hand. While people waited impatiently in a line for us to write and tear out said note.)
Something you might not know about J'Onn J'Onzz? He likes vanilla cream filled chocolate sandwich cookies of the type invented by Hydrox and monopolized by Oreo. Last week, I read an article on the history Hydrox that took some very conspiratorial turns, particularly regarding a faltering revival attempt in recent years. I'm not absolutely certain that I've eaten an original Hydrox, but the fact that I was familiar with them when referenced in books like American Secrets makes me figure that I have. I'm sure that there were particular differences, like the way every other diet cola paled to me against Pepsi Max/Zero when it had the ginseng in the receipe, but was ruined when that was replaced by just another saccharine chemical sludge.* But at the end of the day, every major grocery chain has their own cheap knock-off of the basic model, and I don't recall any Hydrox riots in my time upon this Earth.
Likewise, when the premise was introduced, J'Onn explicitly favored Oreos to a maximalist, man-sized shipping crate excess, but some lawyers eventually made him switch to Chocos. Maybe Chocos are just that much better, or maybe Oreo changed their formula in some infinitesimal manner only perceptible to Martian Taste Buds. Regardless of the fact that the Oreo bit was one of the finest in a comic so funny and humanizing that it turned me on to all the rest of my Alien Atlas and JLI reading, I only sign or groan at their mention today. Every Martian Manhunter thing has to reference it, and then everybody points at the screen becaise he did the thing! It's like those guys who made their entire personality "bacon." There's a half-dozen flavors of Oreos taking up serious shelf space in every grocery store in America. And? Trust that other people like sandwich cookies. Have you tried the limited edition banana cream ones? The chicken and waffle "test" run is better than you'd expect, mostly because they're just pancake syrup flavored. Not like those disgusting Coca-Cola ones from last year, that were the worst version of exactly that "promise"...
*I will point out that non-U.S. markets didn't seem to ever get the ginseng version, but I also think those countries had better consumer protections against the saccharine chemical sludge. I find foreign Pepsi Max to be more palatable than pretty much any other diet soda that I've been exposed to, but it's still methadone to the heroin that was the domestic ginseng version that I drank almost exclusively for a decades. I see you, Hydrox people, even if I don't feel you.
2 comments:
I have eaten Hydrox & I liked them better that Oreos they didn't have the aftertaste that I get when I eat regular Oreos which is why I stick to lemon flavored.
That's another thing for me-- the default Oreo/Hydrox flavor never was my kick. As a kid, I just wanted to lick the filling, and choked down the actual cookie. At my age, I don't need to be eating any of it, but I'm most likely to indulge in a novelty flavor or Golden Oreo. Oroes do have that funky artificial aftertaste.
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