I've been wanting to post this one for a long time-- a decidedly weird and random offering from Wall*Mart. For just $7.50 ($9.50 if you're built bigger) you can get a series of headshots (by Freddie Williams?) of a fairly modern (pre-One Year Later-ish) set of DCU heroes (emphasis on those with dingalings.)
R to L: Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, Superman, the Flash, Green Arrow, Captain Marvel, conehead Martian Manhunter, Batman, Nightwing, Green Lantern John Stewart, Mr. Terrific, Hawkman, Firestorm, Aquaman, Black Lightning, Plastic Man, Kilowog, Cyborg, Red Arrow, Red Tornado and Blue Beetle.
I am full of questions. If you're going to feature J'Onn J'Onzz, why go with the nigh-unrecognizable and short-lived OYL revamp instead of the only version familiar to the public, the Justice League Unlimited model? If you're going for a heavy concentration of minority heroes, why present a Firestorm that looks more like Raymond than Rusch? If this was created with Batman: The Brave & the Bold in mind, why go with the semi-recent comic versions of Aquaman and Red Tornado? Why B- and C- listers instead of at least a token heroine? Why three Green Lanterns and no Hal Jordan (not that I'm complaining?) Finally, where do they get turquoise from, because it looks like a blue shirt to me (just this side of aqua, but still?)
Anyway, this shirt has been in stores for months now, and despite its low cost, I don't really want to buy one. It just took me a while to get up the nerve to waltz into the store, throw their merchandise on the floor, and start snapping pictures...
6 comments:
E-E-E-E-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H! Conehead Martian! Meps! Meps! ME-E-E-E-H-H-H-H-H-PS!
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be lewd, but every time I see the cone-headed version of J'onn it always make me think of a line from Rifftrax riffing Star Wars Episode III where they refer to Ki'Adi'Mundi as the "penis-headed ghost of Hamlet's father." (Seriously, they look identical, minus being green.) And then I start laughing to myself. Outloud.
Perhaps my brain subconsiously employs this humor mechanism as a way of deflecting the pain of seeing this terribly-rendered version of my beloved hero. You know, that whole deal-with-stress-through-humor that JLI members are fond of.
At least Ki'Adi'Mundi had the benefit of a legitimately phallic resemblance. Coneheadhunter's sex appeal is limited to lonely hearts in the produce aisle.
I didn't love the Ladronne redesign, but it could have worked with a few tweaks (mostly just regular Martian Manhunter in a new costume, not a Skrull with a birth defect.
I thought he looked alright in Batman and the Outsiders, sans the chin ripples.
I thought he looked alright in Batman and the Outsiders, sans the chin ripples.
Had to go look up a picture to see....nah, I like my Martians half-clothed. I think of it as a nice throwback to Edgar Rice Burroughs. Besides, J'onn's the only male superheros that's half-naked, which sets him off nicely from everyone else. Wearing a spandex suit (not only that but a long-sleeved, full-body suit) he looks so generic and like everyone else.
I've often pondered the reasoning behind his original costume (or lack thereof) and the only conclusion that ever made any sense to me was that his creators wanted to show off the fact that he is green-skinned. If you cover him up with clothes, you lose that effect of him looking so alien. (Even Beast Boy wears short sleeves...see?) The other reason, I guess, is because everyone walks around naked on Mars in the John Carter books, giving us the "naked green men" stereotype.
I've struggled mightily with the question of how J'Onn should dress. I think Alan Davis probably did the best job of jazzing up the basic costume without totally going in a different direction. I expect J'onn was created with a simple costume because it was never intended to be on constant display. It was supposed to be a strip about a plainclothes detective with secret alien powers, not a super-hero dressed for a sword-and-sandles flick.
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