Thursday, February 14, 2013

To All The Girls I've Manhunted Before...

This is an updated version of a 2009 post titled "Mars Needs Women!"
  • Diane Meade: When the Middletown Police Commissioner's daughter first showed up at Detective John Jones' precinct, he was sure taken with her pretty self. Jones even took Meade on a date in an issue of Justice League of America. Things seemed to cool once Diane became a member of the force though, and while she remained a friend to both Jones and J'Onzz, romance didn't seem to be in the cards. Since the character was revived in JLA: Year One, Officer Meade has seemed even further removed from Jones, mostly just taking amusement at his odd manner.

  • Marie Fouchere: A French double agent who dated the real Marco Xavier, and perhaps the alien who assumed his role as well?

  • Bel Juz: It was never quite clear just how close this treacherous Martian Jezebel got to the Manhunter, but in the end she stood revealed for the manipulator she was.

  • J'en: The lover J'Onn J'Onzz lost to The Marshal's invasion plot against Earth. One of the rare cases where both parties wanted to be together, but were tragically parted.

  • Mari McCabe: After all those years in exile, J'Onn J'Onzz was greeted back to Earth with the amorous advances of supermodel Mari McCabe. It seems the lust wasn't mutual, or perhaps J'Onn noticed Vixen tended to flirt with every non-villainous male within a ten-yard radius. They even had her retroactively fall for Steel the Indestructable Man in an issue of JLA: Classified. In the end, Manhunter's animal kingdom-powered teammate from the Detroit League settled for a depressing sort of friendship, fueled by survivor's guilt.

  • M'yri'ah: Over thirty years after his first appearance, J'Onn J'Onzz learned everything he thought he knew was a lie, and that he was actually a widowed husband and father with an unpronouncible name. Since all retcons inevitably get retconned, his lost bride M'yri'ah was finally named a decade later. The great love of J'Onn's life died with their daughter in a plague.

  • Her-Who-Must-Be-Served: Another unreciprocated lover in pursuit of long tall J'Onzz, this green-skinned hermaphrodite from an amazonian race wished only to turn a disguised-as-female J'Onn into his/her bride!

  • Claire Jeffers: "I was responding to a woman-- in a way I never had before-- but a man would be crazy not to..." Claire was the scheming wife of a small time mayor covering for the murder of an alien mother and child by very effectively seducing J'Onn in his Martin Smith persona. Needless to say, things didn't progress far.

  • Cha'rissa: The White Saturnian intended bride of Jemm, to whom she owed duty, but whose lust was all for J'Onn J'Onzz. Sure, it was perhaps less-than-heroic for the Manhunter to have an adulterous fling, but she was totally asking for it.

  • Kishana Lewis: A firefighter who fast became J'Onn's bedmate, until unearthed demons unleashed flame powers in Lewis, forcing the couple apart.

  • Aubrey Sparks: Slightly demented, southern fried trailer trash with flame powers who sought to help the Martian Manhunter overcome his greatest weakness. The two actually became a couple, until Scorch accidentally unleashed a racial evil that lived within J'Onzz, and fell into a coma while struggling to put the genie back in its bottle.

  • D'Kay D'Razz: Retconned as the first Martian accidentally transported to Earth by Erdel, D'Kay took on human identities and went into hiding for decades for no discernable reason before being awakened from "sleeper" status by J'Onn J'Onzz's post-Brightest Day resurrection. How she failed to notice him as a public figure for over a decade before that was never explained, but D'Kay then went on a killing spree as a sort of Valentine offering in hopes of mating with the only Green Martian male in existence. Too bad for her J'Onn wouldn't take her if she were the last Martian female alive, and she isn't, so there!


will_in_chicago said...

In some respects, I think J'Onn's personal life in regards to female friends and lovers is very tragic. Superman has Lois Lane, even uber jerk Hal Jordan has Carol Ferris and the Manhunter from Mars seems to be destined to be alone.

Omega Agent1 said...

@Will_: I feel the exact same way. Why does our favorite Martian have to be destined to be alone?

@Diablo: I had mixed views on D'Kay. Her killing spree was heart breaking and needed to be righted. (was those her real kids)? Her backstory made me feel for her though. Hopefully I'm not a complete Kirk.

LissBirds said...

I'm glad you're highlighting the women in J'onn's life, Frank.

I don't think any modern Vile Menagerie female can hold a candle to Bel Juz. I just can't feel anything for D'Kay.

I love the fact that J'onn is a tragic hero. I wouldn't want him any other way. It gives him a perspective on things. And he has enough maturity not to devolve into Bruce Wayne-style histrionics.

Diabolu Frank said...

Liss, when J'Onn is happy, his story ends. Of course his love life should be tragic. Otherwise, he's naturally domestic, and he can give up sticking his nose into dirty business. Being a Manhunter is just what he does when he isn't able to be his natural self. He can disconnect from this life where other heroes would be compelled to remain.

I try to find a way in to all of the characters in Martian Manhunter's circle. I want to see him work, and for that to happen, his universe has to work. D'Kay somehow managed to be a hammy knock-off of Cay'an, of all people, but you know what? If Ma'alefa'ak is Mickey Knox, make D'Kay his Mallory. Suddenly, a nonsensical retcon become integral to a villainous dynasty...