Thursday, October 24, 2013

Justice #11 (June, 2007)

The Martian Manhunter turned one of his arms into a guillotine/The Pit and the Pendulum type thing and bloodlessly punched Giganta in the face with it. Later, an action figure was made of J'Onn J'Onzz in this state, based on the single unexceptional image. Metamorpho and Red Tornado joined in on this attack of a fifty foot woman, which can be taken as either a credit to Giganta's stamina as a Wonder Woman villain, or the same lack of imagination and research that went into the aforementioned action figure. Even adding Hawkman and Hawkgirl couldn't get the job done, but the sprawling battle abruptly halted on page thirteen because the Fighty McFightenstein was threatening to overwhelm the entire series without allowing space for poorly constructed resolutions.

The heroes' supporting casts were released from their doom-y captors and reunited with their headliners. J'Onn J'Onzz was warmly embraced by Captain Harding Diane Meade Zook J'en no one at all because Alex Ross is a child of the '70s who never read a Martian Manhunter story before Crisis. Instead, J'Onn nodded at Black Canary and Green Arrow as they supported the ailing Elongated Man, all essential to liberating the hostages. Well, not J'Onn. He just had to punch a monkey and managed to screw that up, almost blowing the rescue. Talking of whom, Grodd crawled out of some wreckage, and Flash began to race at him. "You will never hurt anyone I love again, Grodd!" In his most impressive display of the entire series, the Alien Atlas calmly halted the Scarlet Speedster in mid-blur before he could get his next manslaughter indictment rolling.

J'Onzz read the not-so-Super-Gorilla's pressing thoughts. "I see. Brainiac's nanotechnology has taken control of the weapons systems of this world's governments. Every weapon of mass destruction in the world is under his control. According to Grodd, Brainiac has just initiated the countdown sequence. What began as a nightmare vision to elicit the help of the world's super villains, well, it is becoming real. There's no reason to believe this wasn't Brainiac's plan all the time."

Thanks for all that exposition, Manhunter, but a) how did Grodd know all that, b) why didn't Grodd act on it sooner, and c) why doesn't Brainiac nuke us from orbit, just to be sure? If all Brainiac wants to do is kill Earth, there has to be an easier way, if he puts his mind to it. Meh.

"Chapter Eleven" was plotted and painted by Alex Ross. The script was provided by Jim Krueger, and the penciled layouts by Doug Braithwaite. I had to take a nap after writing this. I think my brain shut down as a protective measure. Ross is as lousy a writer as he is great as a painter.

Continue the story through these character-specific posts:

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